Wall Street built robots
to take your money.
We built one to give it back.
ObamaGains is algorithmic trading designed for people whose checking account has flinched at a $4 latte. Start with $5. No suit required.
Thanks, Obama.
The unofficial endorsement we're never going to get.
The market wasn't built for you.
Hedge funds run thousand-GPU clusters that front-run your $20 Robinhood trade in 4 milliseconds. You read finance Twitter on the bus to your second job. It's not a fair fight. We're going to fix that.
You can’t afford the gatekeepers.
Most robo-advisors require $500+ to start and charge fees that quietly eat your returns. Real wealth managers don’t pick up the phone for less than $250k.
You feel one bad month from disaster.
Watching billionaires hit new ATHs while your savings account earns 0.01% APY is a special kind of psychic damage. You deserve a tool, not a lecture about avocado toast.
The system is rigged on purpose.
The same financial machinery that crashed in 2008 is still humming along, well-funded and well-protected. Compound interest shouldn’t be a luxury good.
“Yes, we can.”
— A guy who turned a community-organizer salary into a presidential pension. Allegedly.
A guide that actually
gets it.
Our founders grew up paying for groceries with quarters from the couch. We didn't learn investing in a finance frat — we learned it because we had to. Every fee felt personal.
Then we did what any reasonable, slightly-radicalized millennials would do: we built our own bot, named it after the one president who actually lookedlike he'd rather give us our money than take it, and made it free for the people who need it most.
Hope and change… your bank account. Thanks, Obama.
Three steps. Zero MBA required.
If you can order a pizza, you can run an algorithmic trading portfolio. We promise.
Drop in $5
Connect your bank, your Cash App, or scrape together couch-cushion change. We don’t care where it came from. There is no minimum.
Pick a bot
Choose from 6 strategies — from “Sleep Soundly Index Bot” to “Yes We Can Aggressive Growth.” Each one comes with a friendly explainer in plain English.
Live your life
The bot trades while you work, sleep, parent, and exist. We send a weekly text in human language. You stay in control. You can pull out anytime.
Diversity, equity, and the part Wall Street forgets: class.
Big finance loves a glossy DEI brochure and a $2,500 minimum balance. We do it the other way around. If you receive any of these benefits, you are not just “welcome” here — you are the entire reason we built this.
Quick honest note about what those badges mean.
We can't directly accept SNAP, WIC, or Section 8 voucher funds as deposits — federal regulations restrict those programs to specific food and housing uses, and that's the law. What those badges domean: if you receive any of these benefits, you're a fully welcomed user on our platform. Your paycheck, side-gig income, tax refund, gift money, or settlement money is what funds your account. The bot doesn't care where the dollars came from. Neither do we.
Most fintech apps quietly filter out users on government assistance with credit checks, minimum-balance rules, or KYC flows that penalize PO-box addresses and rural ZIP codes. We don't do any of that. Period.
Same job. Same rent.
Same nothing.
- Your savings account earns less than inflation. Again.
- You watch finance TikTokers brag while you skip an oil change.
- Wall Street bonuses hit record highs. Yours don't.
- Retirement remains a meme.
A bot in your corner.
Finally.
- Your $5 starts compounding the moment it hits the platform.
- Weekly plain-English texts so you actually understand what's happening.
- Bot pauses automatically when the market gets weird. You sleep.
- You finally feel like the system has at least one thing pointed at you.
Real talk from beta testers.
(Composite quotes for illustration. Trading involves risk. We are not your financial advisor.)
“I put in $20 from my tax return as a joke. Six months later it was $34. That's a tank of gas I didn't have before.”
“First time in my life a financial app didn't feel like it was designed to make me feel stupid. Plain English. Actually plain.”
“I told my dad I was using a trading bot and he said 'be careful son.' I told him it was called ObamaGains and he said 'oh, then it's fine.'”
Free if you're broke. Cheap if you're not.
We charge a flat $0/month for everyone with under $1,000 invested. Above that, it's a flat $1.99/month — less than a ramen bowl, more than fair.
See full pricing- All 6 trading bots, fully unlocked
- $5 minimum deposit, no minimum balance
- Weekly plain-English text update
- Auto-pause during high market volatility
- Withdraw anytime, no questions
Get on the list.
Be first in line.
We're onboarding in waves of 500. Drop your email — when your wave opens, you'll get a link, no spam, no upsell, no “please verify your identity again.”
By joining you accept that this is a satirical project under construction and you won't sue Barack Obama. He's busy.